The Mustache
by bobascousin90210
Summary: Gibbs' mustache takes over his brain... Set whenever it was that Gibbs had his mustache when he came back after retiring. Why did he have to shave it? There are only 2 short chapters. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1: The Invasion

A/N: I hope you like this! It was a lot of fun to write. R &R!

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. But I do own a rubber ducky…

Chapter 1: The Invasion

Leroy Jethro Gibbs sat at his desk, stroking his facial hair. He enjoyed having the new caterpillar on his lip. It was a shield against cold, which kept his upper lip warm. He was thinking about letting a beard grow out too. Anyway, it made him feel important and in control. Ziva thought it made him look sophisticated, and it did. It made him feel more intimidating when he was interrogating, too. Which, for a man like Gibbs, being intimidating was always enjoyable. He enjoyed watching the little people cower with fear. It made him wonder, _Is there something they know about this surprisingly stylish mustache that I don't? _He pondered this for a few moments. _Nope, that is impossible. I am Leroy Jethro Gibbs. It is me they are afraid of! Not because we are NCIS. It is because of me. All me…_

But little did he know, the mustache had a mind of it's own, which was slowing devouring Gibbs's own brain. The mustache was determined to take over the world, and he was using Gibbs as his host.

"_Mwa ha ha ha," _The mustache laughed evilly. "_The invasion is almost complete. Soon I will have his whole brain and my conquest and reign of terror will begin! Mwa ha ha ha!_

Gibbs was gazing into a mirror, fantasizing of what he would look like with a handlebar mustache, when Abby appeared on the webcam.

"Gibbs! Gibbs!" She was excited.

"Yeah, Abs?" He spoke grouchily, upset that she interrupted his fantasy.

"You've gotta come see this," She told him.

Gibbs got up from his comfy desk chair and walked to Abby's lab. As he was on his way, he heard Ziva and Tony, standing behind the staircase. They were talking about something, but all he heard was Ziva saying, "I know! He should shave it off. It really isn't right for him…" Gibbs stroked his precious facial hair again and walked in.

"You wouldn't happen to be criticizing my mustache would you?" He asked.

They were surprised to see him there. "We were just saying," Tony began, but Ziva kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"

"Never mind. Abby was looking for you," Ziva interrupted.

"I know." Gibbs walked back out, giving up on them. Tony sat there, staring at Ziva while he was rubbing his shin.

Abby wanted to show him her findings on their case. As soon as she was finished, Gibbs went back to his desk to admire his whiskers, without even a "Good work, Abs."

The mustache began to talk to itself again. _Yes! I am so close to success that I can smell it! Just a few more minutes and I will have overrun his entire brain. Then, my plot will begin to unfold. I will be king of the world! Who will I eliminate first? Hmm…Oh, I know! That Johnny Depp idiot will be the first to suffer my wrath. He thinks he is so cool with his mustache/goatee combination. But just wait; I will kill him, and then my plan to conquer the world will commence. _The thought of running around killing people for no apparent reason excited him. _WEEEE!!!_ The mustache exclaimed. _I can't wait! This is going to be fabulous!_

It had been long enough, and the mustache had finally invaded Gibbs's brain. _Yes! And now, I will rule the world!_

Gibbs looked up from his paper work on his desk. "Who was that?" He asked. The room was empty. "DiNozzo? This isn't funny," He sat and listened, he heard the voice again, _Leroy…Leroy…_

"Hello? Don't call me that," Gibbs answered, annoyed.

_I will call you what ever I please, Jethro. _

"Where are you? Who are you?" Gibbs asked as he turned back to the papers on his desk, not showing a hint of fear.

_I am inside of your noggin. I am your master._

"I don't have a master."

_Yes you do._

Gibbs sighed. "No I don't."

_Yes, you DO!_

"Leave me alone," Gibbs was frustrated. He got up and began to leave, attempting to leave the strange voice behind.

_You can't escape me. I am inside your head, and you will do as I command._

"No," Gibbs answered, determined.

_Scratch your head._

Gibbs's hand uncontrollably flew to his head and began to scratch, against his own will.

_Stop._

His hand, once again, uncontrollably fell to his side.

"I don't believe this!" Gibbs exclaimed.

_I can make you do the hokey pokey if that will suffice._

Gibbs shook his head in disbelief. "What is this?" He asked.

_I told you. I am your master. You must obey me. Okey dokey? _

Gibbs said nothing.

_I'll take that as a yes. Now. Let us begin. First, I would like you to kill Johnny Depp. Do you know Johnny Depp, Leroy?_

"Yeah."

_Well, then go kill him. I don't mind how. Just do it quickly. What ever it takes._

Gibbs was no longer under his own control, "Yes, Master," His eyes were blank, and empty, with no emotion.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the victim of his own facial hair, walked out into the busy streets of Washington, D.C, on his way to kill a celebrity, with no one in his way that could stop him.

A/N: So? Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2: The Attack

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, but I have two hamsters named Kate and Tony! But Kate died, so we got another one and named her Ziva! Not really. But, Kate is dead. So get over it.**

**Chapter 2: The Attack**

Abby Sciuto was in her lab, even though it was almost midnight. McGee stood close behind her, arms crossed across his chest. Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David were also there.

"Gibbs was acting strange today. And I'm not talking about him skipping his coffee this morning. He seemed more…I don't know. Did any one else notice him massaging his mustache?" Abby asked.

"What are we supposed to do about it?" Ziva asked.

"There's a great amount of brainwaves radiating from Gibbs's mustache. You want to know how I know?" Abby asked.

"Yeah, sure," Tony and Ziva answered at the same time.

"You are not worthy," Abby said. Tony shook a Caf-Pow in front of her face. "Oooh," she said, grabbing the drink and taking a sip. "I did a scan of his face with this cool new toy I got," she picked it up and showed it to them. "It sends an image to the computer and will show different kinds of the body's radiation. Like, heat, and brainwaves," her 'new toy' looked like a ray gun, one of those that police officers use to see cars' speeds.

"So you think the mustache is controlling his thoughts?" Tony asked. Abby nodded. "Riiight." He said sarcastically.

"It's true! Why else would Gibbs run out after I showed him my evidence and say nothing? He just stood there, and then left. And why else would he have run out the door with that maniacal look on his face and been talking to himself? Hm? Do you have an explanation?"

"Okay…Um…well, what do you suggest we do? Go up to him and shave it off?" Tony asked.

"Exactly." Abby answered with a satisfied look on her face. She handed Tony a razor.

He took it, "My pleasure," He turned it on and stared at the shiny, vibrating blade. "Where is he?"

"I don't know. We could check his house." Abby said.

"Let's go," Tony said, taking his gun out of its holster and spinning it around on his index finger.

"Why are you doing that?" Ziva asked.

"It makes me feel cool. Like… Bond, James Bond," He said in Sean Connery's accent.

"Riiight," Ziva said sarcastically.

"Come on, guys. We have to get going!" Abby said, worried about Gibbs.

"Fine." Tony said. He put the razor in his pocket and followed Abby and Ziva out the door.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was walking briskly toward a café a few blocks from the NCIS head quarters. He couldn't stop. So, he guessed that Johnny Depp was there. He had to find a way to get out of this. If he killed somebody at a restaurant, some one was bound to call the police. When they took him away, what would his excuse be? 'The mustache made me do it'? They wouldn't believe him. They would think he was a crazy.

He was about to enter the café, when the mustache began to speak again. _Mwa ha ha ha! Soon Johnny Depp will be dead and I will rule the world!_

"Not the voices again!" Gibbs exclaimed, doubling over and pulling on his hair. "Anything but the voices! No!" Gibbs then realized what he was doing and straightened up, took a deep breath and began to walk casually into the café.

"Gibbs! Gibbs!" He heard from behind him. He began to go into the fetal position, thinking it was the mustache, but then realized it was Abby. McGee, Ziva and DiNozzo followed her.

"Are you okay?" Abby asked.

He felt his mustache and said, "Yeah. I'm good. What about you guys?"

They answered with a collective, 'Good'. But Tony randomly, without warning, suddenly pulled an activated mechanic razor out of his pocket.

"Sorry, Boss. This is for you own good." Tony said as he took the razor and began to shave the mustache.

"No!" Gibbs yelled.

"Gibbs! We're trying to help you!" Abby said.

"I am not Gibbs! I am The Mustache! I will eliminate all of you, but only after I have succeeded to eliminate a man who goes by the name of Johnny. One, Johnny Depp. Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

"No! Not Johnny!" Abby fell to the ground and pulled on Gibbs' sleeve. "Get Orlando! He is the one you want! Don't kill Johnny! Take me instead! Not Johnny! Anyone but Johnny! NOOOOOOO!" Abby exclaimed. Ziva stared at her, puzzled. "What?" Abby asked. "I'm a Johnny Depp fan."

Ziva glanced at Tony.

"Oh, right." He turned the razor back on. "This is for your own good." Ziva and McGee held Gibbs back while Tony began to shave the mustache once more.

"No!" The Mustache yelled. He broke free of Ziva and McGee's grips and knocked the razor from Tony's hand. Tony went flying after it, but in the confusion The Mustache managed to slip unnoticed into the café. The razor gave Tony a little knick on the side of his face, but he didn't notice.

"No! He's going to kill Johnny Depp!" Abby said, running in after him.

Ziva, McGee and Tony followed.

They walked in to see a rabid-looking Gibbs standing above Johnny Depp, holding a knife. His hand began to descend toward the actor's head. "Any last words, Mr. Depp?"

"Freeze!" Abby shouted. This caught Gibbs off guard and Tony took advantage of his sudden lapse in attention and pulled the razor out of his pocket to shave off the mustache.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"The mustache shrieked. In the blink of an eye it was gone. It was just a pile of hair on the ground.

Gibbs blinked; he had no memory of what had just happened. "Where am I?" He now spoke in his normal voice, but he was disoriented.

"You're at the Oysta Café," Johnny Depp said, he had recovered from his near death experience.

"Gibbs! You just tried to kill Johnny Depp!" Abby said, out of breath from her proximity to Johnny Depp.

"Sorry, I didn't know what I was doing," Gibbs apologized.

"Whatever," Johnny said as he went back to his food.

"I thought you said never to say sorry. That it was a sign of weakness," Ziva said.

"Well, some times you have to. That is, if you don't want to be sent to jail for attempting to stab a celebrity in the head," Gibbs gave Ziva a pat on the back.

"Well, since we are apologizing, I think I deserve one." Tony said.

"What did I do to you?" Gibbs asked.

"YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!" Tony said. Ziva raised her eyebrow. "Okay, so I am exaggerating a little bit."

Gibbs gave him a look.

"Okay, maybe a lot," Tony amended.

Gibbs wasn't impressed. He shrugged his shoulders and slapped him on the back of the head as he passed him to exit the café.

Tony was appalled, but Gibbs laughed as he walked away, with a giggling Abby behind him.

Ziva, Tony and McGee were left behind. "Well, that was eventful," Tony said.

McGee nodded. "A lot of weird stuff has happened to us. We could write a book about it…" He said.

Tony shook his head and slapped him on the back of the head.

Ziva laughed, "If you ever write a book about us, McGee, I swear you will never be able to walk straight again," She said threateningly before walking off to follow Gibbs and Abby, with Tony behind her.

McGee laughed, and decided not to tell them he already had five chapters written…


End file.
